We think he is between 8-11 years old.
Yes! Some names for him include:
Preciouses, My Preciouses, Precious, Presh Presh, and Squishy.
We are huge South Park fans. On our way home from the animal rescue we heard a creepy wheezing noise emanating from the carrier... It sounded like Kyle Broflovski's cousin Kyle, Kyle One, who (creepily) wheezes when he breathes! Kyle One is also a #hotmess with an underbite. It was too perfect. And so it was.
The lack of both front and back claws has left Kyle with a small (read: large) dandruff problem and a perpetual instability on furniture. His hip dysplasia causes his foot to escape from his body (#escapefoot) while sitting or “loafing” and he’s quite loud (read: disruptive) when he eats. He is also going blind in one eye, which has reduced his visibility in dark places and causes him to get lost in closets. But don’t be fooled – Kyle loves life – and these minor details don’t bring him down! Really, these ailments are small blessings in disguise. He gladly accepts all pity love and the extra scratches (which soothe his itchy dandruff) that come with it.
The following is a list of Kyle's physical impediments:
1) He is going blind in one eye.
2) He has a heart murmur.
3) He has 3 teeth.*
4) His permanently crooked ear** is...
5) a chronically dirty ear... so he scratches it with his foot leaving him with...
6) a permanently dirty foot.
7) He has chronic dandruf because...
8) he has no front OR back claws. This causes him to slip off furniture and
9) hip dysplasia***... which makes pooping difficult and causes...
10) frequent anal gland infections. 😳
11) He has non-functional whiskers. (This last "fact" is more of an assumption.
How can whiskers be functional when they point forward?)
* When the vet went to remove 1 infected tooth the rest came with it "like
pulling a zipper." Vet's words. No joke.
** We are not sure if he was born with a crooked ear or if it is a reminder of his former life in a DV household.
*** #Escapefoot may be a comforting posture to soothe his hip dysplasia.
Kyles whiskers are a combination of genetics and extreme napping!
(Extreme napping leads to extreme bedhead!)
Kyle's meow is defective much like the rest of Kyle. He actually says "oww"
as if he was in pain!
Kyle’s mornings include lots of sleep. I will usually find him in his tacky cat condo, on his heating pad, sleeping. If he is not sleeping in his house, he is sleeping next to a radiator. (We call this the “radiator orbit” effect… the radiator has a strong gravitational force on Kyle and sucks him in with its heat.) In the evenings, when we get home from work, Kyle slowly awakes from his slumber. (And yes, he’s awaking from the same spot he was 9 hours earlier.) I’ll go to sit down at the table or on the couch and he’ll gradually walk over and hop on my lap… where he will stay for additional hours if I remain in my position. (Important note: Kyle LOVES laps. All laps.) As the evening moves on, he’ll migrate towards his food bowl and sit there patiently waiting for it to be filled up (unless he is throwing a #sohungryicouldeatmyownlegprotest... which he has been known to do). Then, after he has eaten and right before we got to bed, Kyle gets really playful. You can find him meowing and running around…but it’s very brief because he quickly runs out of breath.
Kyle would be called "Tentacle Cat" and his special powers would be tickling his enemies silly with his whisker-tentacles and inducing them into a deep sleep by applying excessive heat to his enemies' laps.
You can help by sharing the facts related to DV and pets, asking your local legislator to support the PAWS Act, purchasing products from the Charitable Ca$h 4 Kyle's Stache store, or donating directly to organizations like the Urban Resource Institute of NYC and their People and Animals Living Safely (PALS) program (URIPALS) or Red Rover for their Safe Housing and Safe Escape grants.